Throwing signs

I've probably known this story since the second grade. Some guy named Paul Revere climbed up in a Boston church tower 250 years ago and hung lanterns to warn people that the British were coming --- one if by land, two if by sea. Stupid story --- who knows if its true. But it was worth a visit to the North Church, which probably gets a lot more business these days from history dorks like me than real live parishioners.

Friday evening in the south Boston projects

Better get a roommate

Goat order

"Yeah. I'd like half of this goat killed. I want to save the other half for later."

Extra Baggage

I usually groan when a major airline announces it's found another way to charge a fee. However, having just returned from a trip to Boston, I applaud American Airlines decision to charge passengers $25 to check a second bag. You know why --- people take entirely too much shit with them when they travel. I saw one couple who were chatting about their weekend getaway, and both of them were lugging two huge rolling bags each.

Listen up travel jackoffs: unless you are relocating to a foreign country for six months, you shouldn't be carrying a second checked bag. In fact, you probably shouldn't even be carrying a first checked bag.

Convert to the religion of john_clarke. I haven't checked a bag in at least five years. If I can't fit it in a medium-sized backpack, fuck it, I don't need it. Well what about bringing enough clothes? Clothes are meant to be worn at least twice when john_clarke travels --- I'm going on a vacation, not a fashion show. And guess what, if my six-year-old Muddy Waters t-shirt starts to reek, it could be washed. The payoff of carrying my crap on my back is that the check-in procedure is a breeze --- I get in and out of the airport as quickly as possible. And better yet, it's impossible for my luggage to get lost because it never leaves my side, figuratively.

However, only about 5 percent of the American traveling public is like me. This became extremely apparent when the cheapo airline I was using did not have an automated kiosk allowing me bypass the ticket counter beating. I had to wait in line for about 20 minutes with all of the sheep who were towing rolling bags the size of Chevy Yukons behind them. The 95 pound female ticket agent look exhausted from having to lug those beasts onto the conveyor belts.


So, go for it American Airlines. Charge $100 per checked bag if you want. It might be the only way to force people to downsize their oversized lives.

Half-assed contractor

I needed a decent contracter to do some drywall and texture repair to a ceiling in my house. So I found this guy in East Dallas named Paul Brown. He agreed to repair for a fair price, did good work and was quick about it.

He seemed nice enough too, if a little on the chatty side. He also said something that is sort of relevant now, I guess. He said: "My pastor told me to always do a job like you're working for God." Right then I was a little weirded out --- strangers who bring up religion in casual conversation always make me feel that way. I'm OK with whatever beliefs a person has, but I'm a true "deeds not words" believer --- don't tell me about your Christianity, show me.

After he finished, I made a deal with him to repair and paint all of the cracks in the walls in my house. Paul Brown wants $550 --- $275 up front and $275 upon completion. Paul Brown does about four or five hours worth of work and never comes back. I call him repeatedly and he doesn't respond. He leaves all of his stuff in my house too. So I've got a house full of unfinished plaster repair --- there are four rooms where he's left work half finished --- and all of his materials, should I choose to use them.

So I've spend the last two weekends finishing what Paul Brown of A&B Services or Paul's Painting Concepts --- depending on what business card he's using this week --- should have finished.

Paul Brown may have got a better contracting job offer that week or he may have had some sort of tragedy happen in his life. But dude, be a man and call your customer and tell him you can't finish the job.

Now I'm wondering what God would think about Paul Brown's half-assed effort.

You Don't Know Jack County

The late 1930's courthouse in Jack County doesn't look like much from the outside. But inside it's just the same as it was 70 years ago --- marvelous. It was built by the WPA --- a New Deal-era program that put people back to work during the depression. I'd like to personally thank the dude who decided to put these cool art deco fixtures in this building --- they're outstanding.