Stupid Ringtone

I had to get a new cell phone because the old one self-destructed like all cell phones do after a period of two years of regular use. Even when you opt for the free cheap phone, like I always do (all I use the phone for is making and receiving calls --- imagine that!), you get a whole bunch of new features you didn't even think you'd want.

My new phone allows me to record things and set whatever asinine idiocy I record as my ring tone.

I immediately thought of David Cross and one of my favorites bits off of "Shut Up You Fucking Baby" as a possible ring tone. It's too long to explain here, but the bit involves an evening Cross spent in Kansas City which included drinking, drugging, the stupid band Harlow, a recreational vehicle, a hotel, a scheduled radio interview and his oversleeping that scheduled radio interview.

It culminates in him doing an impression of a hotel manager banging on his hotel room saying: "[Knock, knock, knock] Ansa ya telephone. [Knock, knock, knock] Ansa ya telephone."

That line is now my ring tone. And I'm probably the only one who thinks it's funny. Maybe one or two other people in the United States will get the reference and also think it's funny. Everyone else will just think I'm an idiot who downloaded a stupid generic ring tone. They'd be wrong, except for the idiot part.