The Flowbee

I used to make relentless fun of a made-for-cable commercial for a product know as "The Flowbee." The Flowbee is an electric razor that's hooked up to a vacuum cleaner. It sucks the hair up, chops it, and the hair clippings go into a bag. By using this marvel of technology, you can become your own barber. "A perfect haircut every time!" What a stupid idea.

I haven't thought about The Flowbee in quite some time until this April when it was already hitting 98 degrees in Dallas. The heat made me have a Pedro moment, like in so much Napoleon Dynamite. My head was hot. So, I pulled out my electric razor and took matters, or hair, into my own hands. And with nothing but a #1 razor guard, I had a perfect haircut. Well, perfect may be a little strong for what my head looked like after I was done with it. I have a perfect haircut for a white supremacist. But my head was cool and I was happy, although my bathroom floor was covered in brown john_clarke hair.

Then I wondered, is The Flowbee still available for purchase? On second thought, that vacuum attachment idea is nothing short of a genius idea.