Take That

This morning, I unveiled a new weapon in the war on jackass drivers. Feel free to copy this tactic.

I'm driving on a semi-residential street going the speed limit. Mind you, it's really stupid to speed on this street because a. It's heavily patrolled by members of the Dallas Police Department and b. There are three school zones you pass through, so you end up speeding up just to slow down.

So some lady in a Lexus who's much more important than me and has to get to work right now decides to drive within inches of my rear bumper. She's so close I can see the color of her eye shadow, a very nice magenta/taupe shade, in my rear view mirror. Somehow, it doesn't matter to her that we're both currently driving in a 20 mph school zone. Her menacing driving is some sort of tactic to get me to speed up and hit a back pack-toting third grader. So I remain calm and kept my finger gestures to myself. Instead, I slowly take my foot off the accelerator. My speedometer drops slowly from 20 mph, to 15 mph, to 10 mph. As I slow down to a virtual crawl, the grimace on her face becomes more pronounced. Finally, when we were out of the school zone, she hit the gas and gets around me.

I win.