I'm A Big Texas Cliche

I don't mean to blaspheme the great State Fair of Texas, but let's face it: this annual event is a celebration of all that is embarrasing about my homeland. Massive calorie consumption, questionable clothing choices, terrible accents are what this event is all about. But there's lots of other fun stuff: live stock; carnies; unusual smells; posing for pictures in front of a giant fake cowboy. And then you get to wander back to your car, praying that it's still there.