Toy Shopping

I've found that when purchasing a gift for a six-year-old nephew, it's best just to pick out a toy I'd like to play with. I dominate at picking out toys for kids because I still remember the basic rules of what was fun as a kid. If the toy flies or drives, it's fun. But if the toy has the ability to leave a large bloody welt, it's really fun.

At Target, I again renewed my search for the favorite toy of my childhood --- the plastic water rocket. You filled the red plastic rocket halfway with tap water, put a bicycle pump thing on the bottom, pumped it up and let it go. The rocket would then take off going hundreds of feet in the air, making a cool blasting sound and leaving a trail of water behind. Inevitably, after growing bored of shooting the water rocket up in the air, I'd be tempted to shoot it at other kids. But because the rocket was made of plastic, after it nosedived into the concrete street one too many times, it would shatter and become useless as a weapon of mass destruction. That was the only thing that saved that little punk Ricky Kinch who lived down the street from getting a red plastic shoulder fired water rocket square between the shoulder blades.

But Target did have the 2005 version of the water rocket. Because the toy industry is now regulated by some federal agency aimed at making toys more safe and less fun, the new rocket has a big ridiculous foam pad on the end of it. And it now has been modified where it only uses air --- not water, which was half the fun. I bought it anyway. Maybe my nephew can figure out a way to use this toy in such a way to assualt other neighborhood kids before the toy industry in 2025 makes this product even safer.