Let's Play Name That Crackhead
Over the weekend, I went out to dinner with my friend Lisa and her tenant Kevin. The ever impetuous Lisa decided recently that she wanted to become a landlord. So almost overnight, she bought a triplex on one of the worst blocks on Gaston Avenue. She moved in about a month ago and is enjoying the scene. She instantly became friends with Kevin who was already living in the house.
Kevin is funny and is real street wise about Gaston. So we hit it off by comparing notes on our favorite crackheads who roam the neighborhood. We are both are intrigued by this small but super cracky woman who's a regular. She talks in this squeaky voice (I guess I'll call her squeaky from now on). And she always says: "Excuse me. Hello. Excuse me. Hello." She won't stop until you acknowlege her. Then she says: "Can I have a dollar so I can get me a soda and a hot dog." I never give her money and will never give money to a crackhead. Kevin won't either. He says the last time he saw her, she was knocking on the windows of cars at the drive through at a Taco Bell. Kevin say he's a patron at the crackiest 7-11 on Gaston and gets bum rushed on a regular basis. When the crackheads ask him for money for "food" Kevin says he always offers to go inside and buy them a Coke and a banana. They always refuse the offer. That is a brilliant strategy and takes the guilt out of the process.
Before I met Kevin, Lisa gave me the low down on him. He works as a nanny --- an untraditional male job, but so is Kevin. And he also appeared on Mark Cuban's short lived "Benefactor" show, which I never watched because it was reputed to be so terrible. Lisa says he won $30,000 on that show. And she tried to get him to talk about it at dinner but he wouldn't. Maybe Rob can fill me in on Kevin's role on the show because I think he watched it twice for the trainwreck factor. Now I wish I would have watched it too.
Kevin is funny and is real street wise about Gaston. So we hit it off by comparing notes on our favorite crackheads who roam the neighborhood. We are both are intrigued by this small but super cracky woman who's a regular. She talks in this squeaky voice (I guess I'll call her squeaky from now on). And she always says: "Excuse me. Hello. Excuse me. Hello." She won't stop until you acknowlege her. Then she says: "Can I have a dollar so I can get me a soda and a hot dog." I never give her money and will never give money to a crackhead. Kevin won't either. He says the last time he saw her, she was knocking on the windows of cars at the drive through at a Taco Bell. Kevin say he's a patron at the crackiest 7-11 on Gaston and gets bum rushed on a regular basis. When the crackheads ask him for money for "food" Kevin says he always offers to go inside and buy them a Coke and a banana. They always refuse the offer. That is a brilliant strategy and takes the guilt out of the process.
Before I met Kevin, Lisa gave me the low down on him. He works as a nanny --- an untraditional male job, but so is Kevin. And he also appeared on Mark Cuban's short lived "Benefactor" show, which I never watched because it was reputed to be so terrible. Lisa says he won $30,000 on that show. And she tried to get him to talk about it at dinner but he wouldn't. Maybe Rob can fill me in on Kevin's role on the show because I think he watched it twice for the trainwreck factor. Now I wish I would have watched it too.
posted by john clarke at 7:12 AM
4 Comments:
Isn't he the guy who loves Opra? I'm so happy I don't know how to spell Opara, Opera..whatever.
I forget the exact deal, but it was a case where Cuban was offering money to anyone in exchange for leaving the show. When they turned it down, he upped the pot until there was a taker. Kevin took it at 30K, and the next day Cuban blogged that there was more money than you can imagine in his bag (meaning Kev left a lot on the table)
Small world
Yeah, I could see Kevin being an Oprah fan.
Wow. That smarts about the cash. But if it makes any difference, I get the impression that Kevin leads the sort of low overhead lifestyle where $30,000 might as well be $300,000.
Oh Kevin shouldn't second guess, 30K was a nice payday, AND he got to walk away from the smarmy Cuban cockiness.
I'd have left Cuban for way less than that.
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