Giggle Brain

Sometimes, just before I drift off to sleep at night as my brain starts to disengage from daily activity, I'll lock on some random stupid memory that makes me giggle. Last night, I lay awake, giggling and then laughing uncontrollably about a video tape that I watched at Rob's house while I was in college. The tape was of Van Halen's 1987 "5150" tour. Rob put the tape in and immediately fast forwarded it halfway through the concert right to the most misguided scene of any 1980's arena rock show --- the bass guitar solo. The bass guitar was never meant to be a featured instrument, it's supposed to be part of the rhythm section and nothing more. And Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony --- arguably the least attractive and most happenstance member of Van Halen --- was never meant to be pushed to the front of the stage. Michael looks a guy who was turned away from a job cutting wood at Home Depot, not a member of America's most famous rock band. Anyway, Michael's bit was he came to the center of the stage with a bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey in hand and poured it haphazardly down his throat. Then he started in on his solo, played on a bass guitar that was fashioned to look like the very alcoholic beverage he was consuming. Then Michael would run from stage left to stage right with his guitar extended, so the audience would be guaranteed to see his crazy instrument. While all of this contrived mayhem was unfolding on screen, Rob starts yelling: "Wild Man! Wild Man! Michael Anthony is a Wild Man!" I think, between my fits of laughter, I responded: "Yes, you are correct sir. Michael Anthony is indeed wild." So at age 95, if I'm giggling on my death bed about something that doesn't make any sense, it would a safe guess that it has something to do with a stupid bass guitar solo.