Big Fat White Opinion

An interesting sidelight to the immigration reform debate is something I like to call spot the big fat white guy. My theory is that the big fat white guys who live in neighborhoods full of other big fat white guys are the most rabid about proclaiming: "We must protect our borders!" The next time someone says that, see if the phrase is attached to a big fat white guy. It's fun.

On Russert this morning, he had two Republican white guys on to debate immigration reform. On the moderate side was Lindsay Graham, R-South Carolina. Graham is also a man of moderate girth. He thinks making border jumping a felony is ridiculous and tossing 11 million hard working immigrants out of the U.S. is insane. I also think that Graham --- much like the president --- realizes that to stay in power, Republicans have to continue picking up the growing Hispanic vote in Texas and California or they're toast.

On the other side was Charlie Norwood, R-Georgia, a proud big fat white guy. Of course "We must protect our borders!" was practically the first thing out of his mouth. Norwood believes that border jumping is a violent act akin to robbing a bank. He says the people of Georgia want a sealed border and lots of fences. Curiously, the last time I checked a U.S. map, Georgia is bordered by Florida to the south, the Atlantic ocean to the east, North & South Carolina to the north and Alabama to the west. In other words, the fine folks of Georgia don't have much stake in the immigration debate. If their neighbors all decided to move into their state, it would only result in Norwood's district becoming bigger, fatter and whiter --- just like he likes it.

My home state Texas is famously close to the border. And we're home to a whole lot of big fat white buys. But immigration is changing that rapidly. I live in a neighborhood that's largely Hispanic. I shop, do business with and enjoy the company of the Hispanic. And I think that if I was born 1,500 miles south of Dallas and could only earn $5 a day, I'd probably put on a backpack and walk across the desert to get to Texas so I could earn enough money to eat. And I'd probably live in a neighborhood that had food, music and attitudes that I was comfortable with. And immigration has done something wonderful to Texas. These days, you only have to live next door to the big fat white guy if you want to.

So that's why immigration reform worries me. What would it be like if I woke up tomorrow and East Dallas was more chicken-fried, Toby Keith-lovin', and hyper nationalistic?

God Bless Texas and the Hispanic.