Wanted: Muffin Boy

The FBI is currently on the hunt for "Muffin Boy" --- a kid who brought some pot muffins to a Dallas high school and left them in the teacher's lounge. They released a video of the culprit to local news stations to assist with his capture. And just like the effects of the illicit muffins, the story itself makes me giggle.

What is it about free food? Anyone who works in a office knows this simple fact: if you bring any kind of left over food product to work --- no matter how disgusting --- and offer it for public consumption, people will devour the food within a matter of minutes. At my office, I could bring in a bag of dung cupcakes, set them on a table, and they'd be gone practically before I left the break room.

So, of course, it's really easy to believe that 19 teachers scarfed down the muffins. What's a little harder to believe is that, according to news reports, all of the teachers became "sick." Nevertheless, the city health department got involved.

"According to physician reports and patient interviews, patient symptoms are consistent with acute marijuana toxicity," said Dr. John Carlo, the health department's medical director. "Additionally, several of these patients have tested positive on urine drug screens for cannabinoids."

Umm, could we be a little more precise in this reporting? Say what really happened. 19 teachers got high --- really really high.