Unwarranted

A trait among all cheap bastards is the willingness to play the warranty game. This means purchasing a neccesary non-durable product knowing that its life span is nowhere near the length of its warranty. The end result is either a deep discount or free replacement when the good gives out. And nowhere else does this theory work better than with car parts. Things like batteries, alternators and tires all give out eventually. But the manufacturer usually wins because most people in our consumer culture usually gets rid of the car for a newer one before a certain part under the non-transferrable warranty gives out. Only cheap bastards can make this theory work because we'll own a car for 10 years. I once got three sets of mufflers for my 1987 Mustang because Midas has lifetime warranties on their mufflers and I put 200,000 miles on my muffler eating car before I gave it up.

But there are downsides to this practice too. I bought some tires for my latest Mustang that have a 50,000 mile warranty. And I've yet to have a set of tires on a Mustang last more than 30,000. So I'm pretty close to being done with my current set as they have 20,000 miles on them. But as the tires have aged, they've started to become incredibly noisy. When I drive down the highway, the tires roar ---- sort of like a jet engine at idle. It's real irratating --- the only way to compensate is to turn up the radio to an unconfortably loud volume. So I go the tire store and hit them with "Hey. My tires are nearly done. I've got some tread left, but they're really noisy. Can I cash in on the warranty?" The tire man shuts down that proposal. He does offer to sell me some tires at about 10 bucks off each. But to use of the warranty and get some tires at half price, he says I've got to come back when they're bald. This means listening to the jet engine noise for another 5,000 miles. And I'm driving to Colorado in a month, meaning I'll be deaf by the time I hit Telluride. But I'll take the hearing loss for a half price set of tires. That's just what cheap bastards do.