You Bastard

Bastard is my favorite of all curses because it's a funny word. It's humorous because the word has become a completely obsolete insult. The word was originally conceived to describe a child born out of wedlock. But you rarely hear people using bastard to describe children anymore --- at least in the United States where a majority children are born out of wedlock. The curse word is most effective when it remains an exclusive term. But if most people in the United States are technically bastards, calling somebody a bastard becomes kind of silly if you are using the word in the literal sense.

I think the pioneers of using the word bastard in a humorous sense were the actors and writers of the great "Young Ones" --- the British sitcom from the early 80's about a group of over-the-hill college students who roomed together in a beat-up house. Once the boys didn't have enough money to pay the rent so they wrote a letter for the bank asking for a loan. The they wrote letter stated: "Dear darling bank manager. Give us some money you Bastard. Love Neil." I still laugh about the boy's favorite television show. It was called "The Bastard Squad."

So do yourself a favor America. Call someone a bastard today. The recipient of the insult probably won't know what to do. And you'll laugh.